Sunday, June 1, 2008

Training pants

There are very few things in life I'm good at, and of those even fewer have ever proved to benefit me. Thus far, my penchant for effortlessly taking multiple naps in the same day or for inhaling an entire box of Little Debbie® Oatmeal Cream Pies in one sitting have yet to manifest meaningful results or even practical uses.

What I am good at is embarrassing myself, and at subjecting myself to undue torture for the sake of wasting a lot of time. To sufficiently exploit these abilities I have decided, not without exhaustive excogitation, to become a truly dedicated novice amateur non-competitive strictly recreational cyclist.

Becoming an amateur non-competitive athlete isn't something to be taken lightly; and as such I've been reading about cycling training, events, and culture. I found an issue of Cyclist Magazine from 1988, and Dan even let me borrow some biblical book to aid in my enlightenment. The magazine has far more pictures so naturally I've focused my attention on that, but it's hard to elucidate any usable advice when I can't stop giggling at the 80s style hair-dos. (More like Hair DON'TS!)

By now I'm assuming that you are astonished, shocked, and likely curious of the hair in my magazine. You might even be impressed but confused with my resolve to dedicate my recreational time to one seemingly healthy yet fruitless endeavor. Well it turns out that in cycling, like in soccer, goals are good make. My summer training regiment is actually to prepare me for this. The D2R2 is a 107-mile randonnee primarily on dirt and gravel roads through Old Deerfield, Massachusetts. It is here that my brutal, couple-days-a-week training will bear fruit.

I have nearly twelve weeks from today to become confident and capable in a saddle for seven+ hours. Currently, my athletic capabilities wane around mile 30 but my confidence dissipates just after I'm done clipping my right foot in.

And readers, here it goes: along with life-changing avant-guarde design creations I will be keeping updates of my training progress here as well. So please, join me in my cycling toddlerhood and help me pick out some good training pants.