Friday, August 22, 2008


I have approached this last week of training with solemn reverence and sacrifice. Along with grueling hours in the saddle, and to further prime my body for impending torture, I have eschewed caffeine, alcohol, MSG, and roller coasters for five consecutive days. I have endured multiple caffeine-withdrawl headaches and ensuing drops in midday patience. I still managed to trudge on through the week, undeterred by all of the customers who were discouraged by my lashings of indifference.

In an effort to maintain a strict nine hours per night sleep minimum, I've blown off all my friends' incessant requests for my presence at various social functions; or possibly I've only blown off the same friend twice, or maybe it was just once I ignored the dog barking and once I didn't answer a phone call from my brother. Anyhow, with burning determination I have rigorously eaten my vegetables, taken my vitamins, stayed out of the sun, and gotten plenty of sleep in lieu of likely raucous nineteen twenty-something style debauchery.

With a sound body, clear mind, and an admirable dedication to training,
I am finally ready to go on... a bike ride.