Friday, February 13, 2009

Windy February

It's mid month already, which means that it's finally that time of year again.

The time to ravage boxes of chocolate, cut out holes in construction paper, decorate everything in red, dim the lights, and watch in suspense as Jason Voorhees brutally offs a bunch of camp counselors. Another Friday the 13th to enjoy with loved ones.

More importantly, this month is half-way over, which means this hemisphere is that much closer to Spring, and hopefully a break in crappy weather. It also means I am that much closer to the schism in school of the same name. Hopefully I can engage in more of this "riding outside" I've been hearing so much about.

Less importantly, It is Valentine's Day. For those lucky enough to have snagged a partner long ago, and thus have zero need to romance, impress and/or keep the magic alive, this day will simply pass unprotested like so much flatus from your long-time loved one's backside.

For those of you into cutting, pasting, and giving home-made cards (a lot of special-needs people read this blog), I thought I'd pass on some of my genius via a few V-Day card ideas.

From the romantic cyclist who enjoys plays on stereotypical Valentines sayings: Picture some rippling legs, with caption: I only have thighs for you.

From one unctuous, misogynous rider to another: Picture a jar, or handy stick of embrocation, with caption: Embros before Hos

From the very direct cyclist: Picture a lonely bicycle, with caption: Ride me?

The combination of bicycle terms with innuendo are endless! For a holiday about love (in the noun and verb sense) and a pass-time filled with riding, grinding, racks, power taps, tandem stokers and lube, creating just the right level of corny, cheesy, and sassy should be quite simple. Although with all that corn and sass you may want to invest in bean-o.

Happy bike riding,