Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Season's gleamings.

I have moved about twenty times in my life and lived in no less than five significantly different latitudinal regions. This experience has melded me into a sort of world-class climate connoisseur; a self-taught atmospheric savant, trained on the meanest of suburban streets. As a participant in multiple realms of recreational outdoor athletics (road and mountain biking constitute different realms), and as a self-proclaimed academic of ambiance, It behooves me to remain abreast of current climatic conditions. Being that this is my first Fall in the North East, I've tried to pay special attention to these distinct, fantastic, and fickle few months.

Meteorological rules dictate that Fall spans the first of September through the first of November, with astronomical rules book-ending the season with the autumnal equinox (22nd of September) and winter solstice (21st of December). However, with the authority that my meteorological mastery endows, I will promulgate the end of autumn to be today- November 18th. This is partly because rules are for fools, but mostly because it snowed in my face today.
Street climatology 101 clearly dictates that:

(Note the definitiveness of the equal sign.)

With Autumn already over, I wanted to disseminate some knowledge I've gleaned from my experiences here to my lesser-traveled and/or more equatorially-located cycling peers:

1) Fall is named as such because the leaves fall off the trees.

2) Mountain biking on leaves is slippery and fun.

3) Before the leaves fall off, they turn red. This makes road riding more scenic.

4) Putting Red on your bike makes it more scenic, too. (And lighter and faster).